Heartache
by lovebird requii
Summary: She was, without a doubt, the sweetest thing he had ever laid eyes upon…She made his heart ache. Rated M for a minor beginning to an implied lemon. One Shot, Suzaku x OC


WARNING(S): Possible, minor spoilers in the beginning of the story [however, one may choose to ignore them if they are not so obvious; you have merely been warned]. Also, a snipit of the beginning of a lemon; no great detail, merely implied from that point further.

I own nothing but my original character Elizabeth, and the plotline followed in this one shot. The lyrics _in Italics_, are from the song _May I_ by Trading Yesterday, which was the inspiration for this one shot. Suzaku, Euphemia, Lloyd, and other Code Geass references belong to the creators of the series. Enjoy the story, though not all will be happy with the ending I have chosen. As always, messages and reviews are welcomed as long as they are not flames.

* * *

Link to the song:  
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=orJJniWRpRQ

* * *

_And there you stand opened heart-opened doors  
full of life with the world that's wanting more._

She was, without a doubt, the sweetest thing he had ever laid eyes upon, including his beloved Euphemia, now almost two years passed. With a warm smile and a calming aura, she all but floated down the halls of Ashford, a personal guardian angel to anyone in need. She would sing as she wandered the halls, her soft, lilting voice resounding like a chorus of angels from the high ceiling. No matter the attitude others bore towards her, she reflected only kindness and unconditional love. She made his heart ache.

_But I can see when the lights start to fade,  
the day is done and your smile has gone away.  
_

It was the end of the day, when he watched her the most attentively, and when his heart ached the most. She would sit in the windows overlooking the school green as the sun would set, her gaze downcast and her slender arms wrapped about her petite frame. Her songs would be quietly muffled, no one to hear or listen, and her long lashes would cast delicate shadows over her smooth cheeks. The warm light behind her blue eyes would vanish into a cloudy grey, and she would pale under the golden light of the sun as it sparkled through her pale strawberry blonde hair.

_Let me raise you up.  
Let me be your love.  
_

"Tell me it's over…," the angel sang, "Tell me we've finally made it through…"

Her voice was sadder today, and pleading, as if she were not only singing, but also pouring her heart and soul into the words, beginning for an end to whatever troubled her. His head leaning against the cold wall at his back, he closed his eyes and put his hand over his aching heart. He mouthed the words numbly to the song she carried on, each word familiar and haunting on his lips. They came and went as easily as his breathing, and each passing moment pressed a greater urgency to speak, and yet a greater inability to do so.

_I can't stay here, hiding, forever._

Opening his vibrant emerald eyes, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves and stood up, having been sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. He winced at the pain in his cramped limbs, withholding a groan and gritting his teeth. Though he was used to sitting in the cockpit of a Knightmare for hours on end, his muscles fell into such a lethargic state at the sound of her voice that he found himself often unable to rouse them without stretching actively for at least half the time he'd spent sitting. As he unfolded his lanky frame, renewing the strength of his sinewy muscles, he found himself humming along with her now, his eyes half-lidded behind wispy bangs. The light outside was growing dim as he peeked around the corner at her, eyes softening at her wistful gaze. He combed one hand through his hair, the chocolate brown curls falling neatly into place, and swallowed hard before stepping out into what remained of the light.

She sang on without notice, leaning alone against a stone pillar supporting the roof at the side of one tall glass window. He stepped closer, his right hand still nervously up towards his heart, and gently cleared his throat. He kept his head bowed humbly, giving her the kindest smile he could manage as she started and turned to him.

"I'm…sorry if I startled you, Elizabeth," he apologized faintly, rubbing the back of his neck to keep from tearing his throbbing heart from his chest. "It's just that you seemed sad. You're a lovely singer, but...," _…it's as if I can hear your heart breaking when you sing…_, "but I've never heard you sound so sad before."

He spoke to her tenderly, gazing upon her with reverence, hoping to procure one of her beautiful smiles for himself. Even without such a tantalizing reward, the sheer elation of his words being allowed to fall upon her ears would have been enough. He stared out the window to keep from seeming rude, glancing bashfully towards her face after a few moments of silence. She had been gazing out the window too, and as he looked to her, she looked to him, and smiled softly. It strained to light in her eyes flickering, but failed in the end as a candle snuffed out by the wind.

"It's quite alright Suzaku Kururugi," she said sweetly, tucking a stray curl of hair behind her pixie ear. "That song is just a sad song, though, so there's no need to—"

"Don't…lie," he murmured gently, his brows furrowed as he approached her.

"But, I…," she began softly, her warm countenance faltering.

"You shouldn't have to lie if you're sad."

_May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep,  
when the world is closing in  
and you can't breathe._

He cupped her sun-warmed cheek gently in his palm, his tall frame leaning over hers, as he looked compassionately into her eyes. His heart clenched as he spoke, heat rising slowly up his cheeks. She stared at him warily, confusion glittering wetly in her eyes as she found herself unable to break apart from him.

"You spend your days bright and warmhearted, giving away your happiness to others, but at the end of the day, you're always sitting here alone. You…you deserve to be happier than this," he managed to whisper as he let his hand drop slowly, having never said more than a few words to her before this day.

"I-I'm really fine," she stuttered, uncertainty in her voice for the first time he'd ever heard.

He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he savored the scent of wet roses wafting up from her skin and hair. When he opened his eyes, he smiled sadly and held his hand out for her to take.

"May I take you for a walk?" he asked. "I'd…like to keep talking with you, if you'd allow me."

_Because I know I'm not worth your time. I'm not even worth the ground upon which you walk_.

Her soft grey eyes watched him for a moment before she reached for him and took his hand. He helped pull her to her feet, softly sighing in well-concealed adoration as she floated elegantly down to the ground. The departing sun caught in her hair as she looked up to him with a quiet, thankful smile.

"A walk would actually be rather nice," she said warmly. "Thank you, Suzaku Kururugi!"

_May I love you.  
May I be your shield.  
When no one can be found  
may I lay you down.  
_

"You know, Elizabeth, you can just call me Suzaku," he said quietly as they wandered through the chill night.

The sun had long since died away, a clammy curtain of darkness enveloping her and stealing her away from the world. Elizabeth had stayed at his side across the full length of the Academy grounds, bathed in moonlight more fitting for her than silver was for a queen. Their hands had parted in the hallway with slight reluctance, well hidden by both parties, and since they had walked side by side for hours on end.

"If I'm only going to call you Suzaku, then you can just call me Ellie," she laughed softly, her gaze lifted to the starry sky.

"E-Ellie…Alright then," he mumbled, looking away with heated cheeks. "Could I ask you something…?" he wondered aloud, taking a chance to look at her

"Of course."

She turned to him and smiled tenderly when he spoke, meeting the deep emeralds of his eyes with the lovely sapphires set in her own face. He slowed his pace to a standstill, the moon high behind him as it fell dappled through the levels of an old cherry tree standing sentry to the oldest portions of the Academy.

"Why do you always sound so sad, when you sing after school?"

Taking pause, she closed her eyes and discerning reopened them to gaze upon the moon. The lucid, marked light was cold upon her soft features, and did them little justice. The smile on her face, angelic in the night, was sad and wistful when she brought it to his face.

"Because I feel like I'm invisible to you."

_All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...  
to give you all that your heart needs the most.  
_

He looked at her in shock, eyes wide and mouth agape. She had clasped her hands together nervously after speaking, and cast her gaze shamefully away. Pressed betwixt her teeth, her soft pink lips had turned a pale, cold white, and, much like the rest of her at the moment, were trembling slightly.

"I shouldn't have said a thing," she finally murmured softly, "I'm sorry, Suzaku."

Hurriedly, she turned as if to leave. Taking a chance, he reached out to grasp her wrist. Encircled by his tender hand, her icy skin tingled with warmth which crept through her being before laying its rosy touch upon the pallor of her cheek. Like a knight, ever caring for his lady, he stepped close to her as if to shield her from the cold, and shed his jacket to lay it about her shoulders.

"Don't apologize," he said, hesitating a moment before cupping her cheek in his palm.

She shivered under his touch, looking up at him in wondrous curiosity. Seeing himself reflected in her eyes, he almost flinched back from the wonders he beheld, and only just managed to refuse himself the recoil. His heart wrought with conviction, he dipped his head softly down and paused to inhale the lovely scent of her being before whispering a tender, earnest question.

"May I…?"

His question was received with an equally earnest, breathless whisper, a single word.

"Please."

The first kiss he placed upon her lips was gentle and slow, progressing into a deeper motion that was the very essence of his heartache and her longing joined into one. They parted in the exhalation of the held breathes which brought them together. She was on her tiptoes, pressed up to him as he embraced her dearly to his chest.

"How could the one I've adored since she set foot on and made holy the ground upon which I walk be invisible to me?" he asked poetically, resting his forehead against hers.

"You've…adored…me…?" she barely managed to squeak, to which he nodded in reply.

"From the moment I saw you and heard your voice," murmured the young man, "I have. Would you…could I….," he paused, stumbling uncertainly over his words, before continuing, "If you would allow it, Ellie, I'd like to be your knight…"

_The closest intimacy I know…To be her knight; to protect her, and hold her—to keep her safe._

"…to give you that which your heart seems to need the most."

_Let me raise you up  
Let me be your love  
_

He nearly swallowed down his last words, but in failing to do so merely gulped down a deep breath of air which expelled them from his chest. His loose, careful hold about her waist not yet relinquished, nor yet her tender grip on his shoulders, he shut his eyes in an effort to be at peace, unable to concentrate with her face before him. A faint laugh permeated the air, delighting his ears, and an affectionate touch brushed the soft curls of bangs which he possessed from his face.

"Would you happen to be asking me to be your girlfriend?" she inquired timidly, resting her cheek against his chest as her hand stroked his hair.

"Yes," he exhaled deeply, closing his eyes in relief, "I…I would be…"

He set her down gently, now, with a look in his eyes as he opened them that betrayed the ache he had felt for so long, and which simultaneously betrayed the fading hope as the silence waned. She cupped his cheeks in a gentle caress, rubbing her thumb unconsciously across the dark circles beneath his eyes.

"And so yes would my answer also be."

_[chorus]  
May I hold you (hold you)  
as you fall to sleep.  
When the world is closing in  
and you can't breathe,_

_may I love you. (love you)  
May I be your shield._

A special quality was added to her loveliness as she graced the halls of Ashford Academy in the next year, a warmer inner light. She no longer sat alone in the window as the day would draw to a close, nor would her voice carry its sad tune in the dying hours. The ache within his chest had slowed to a dull throb, a bare reminder that he had no such right to a second chance like the one he had received.

During the nights, she would be curled against him, her cheek alight on his chest with her tender features free of worry and strain, relaxed and peaceful as no other could ever be. The simple things, such as holding her as she slept, came to mean the most to him, and he cherished each second. She seemed to embody the peace of his heart, and he loved all the more for it.

If she should cry, he would dry her tears and embrace her, drawing her close to his chest. He would become the remedy for whatever ailed her, ending her pain before it ended him. He was her shield, her knight, and she was his angel; his light in the darkness.

_When no one can be found,  
may I lay you down.  
_

He chuckled as he twirled her about his room, her honeyed laugh harmonizing with the deeper tones of his voice when he chose to sing. The lush carpet passed quickly under his feet, barely brushing the bare souls of hers as he carried her in elegant movements from one end to the other. Her delicate hands balanced on his shoulders, her back arching in a shiver of delight under his gentle touch when he pressed her to his chest. Only when her legs were pressed to the edge of the warm blue comforter dressing his bed did they still, their chests raising in unison—their breathing that of one being.

The question this time was quieter and more intimate as he craned his neck to place his lips at her ear and whispered again: "May I…?"

Her heart rate raced with his as she nodded, swallowing her lack of breath. He laid her tenderly back on the bed, careful to raise himself up so as not to crush her. She cupped her hands behind his neck, trembling as he tentatively stroked her sides. His hand trailed from her hair to her cheek, down to her stomach and back in the long period of two minutes, enticing a shivering sigh from her lips. A faint heat crept to her face as she looked shyly to him, sitting up to place a loving kiss upon his lips.

_[bridge]  
All that's made me (made me)  
Is all worth trading (worth trading)  
just to have one moment with you._

"The door…," she began timidly, cut off by his theft of another kiss.

"I'll get it," he answered quietly, standing away with a slowness that left her with a breathless whimper caught halfway in her throat.

It struggled out as he knelt beside the bed, taking one small hand in his grasp and lifting his earnest gaze to hers lovingly.

"Ellie…?" he whispered. "Before we continue…you have to promise me one thing."

"A-Anything," she granted him, no hint of anything other than true adoration within her eyes or voice.

"You have to marry me."

She inhaled sharply, eyes wide as he brought forth a simple golden band from his pocket, holding it reverently in the palm of his hand. Tender, elegant words were inscribed upon the band, the sight of which, as if they had been a spell, brought tears to her eyes. His strong arms drew her to his chest as she accepted the ring, barely able to nod, and held her there as she shook with emotion.

"Of course, S-Suzaku…," barely whispered the weeping angel, "Thank you."

_That he would want to spend his life with me…_

"All that's made me is all worth trading, Ellie, just to be here with you…," he murmured, as if knowing her deepest thoughts, "just to have this one moment with you."

_So I will let go (will let go)  
all that I know (that I know)  
knowing that you're here with me._

"Thank you," came the words again as he released her from his embrace, placing a soft kiss upon her lips and wet cheeks.

He took her slender leg in his hands as a response, caressing it with the sweetest touch a lover could possess. Unlacing her shoe with infinite care and setting it aside, he repeated the process with the other, and then moved to gently unroll her stockings. As he undressed her slowly, working his way dotingly up her petite body, she stroked his hair and let his touch take her away. Her eyes slipped close when his warm lips met her chill flesh, eliciting a delicate quiver through the length of her spine as he laid her back to the bed.

He shrugged carefully out of his clothes in the next few moments, nuzzling her stomach and tender breasts with an amorous sigh that may have passed for her name. As they lay bare together, he remained suspended away from her in a brief moment, awaiting a sign, a beckoning; an indication that his angel would accept him. She opened her eyes slowly, an open need lightning the cobalt blue from within, and whimpered a sincere request, watching with rapt delight as his back arched and rippled under her soothing touch. In a singular motion, then, he brought them together, tenderly taking her mouth with his, and claiming his light.

_For your love is changing me._

_"I love you, Suzaku," _she'd whispered as he'd cradled her to his chest last night,_ "I love you…"_

The memory brought a fond smile to his lips as he adjusted his pilot gloves, straightening the white leather that became his lean form. Lucid laughter bubbled up from behind him as the willowy scientist he worked under spun about in his office chair.

"My, Suzaku," he crooned, "That girl's really got your head in the clouds~!"

He turned to him with a warm, good-natured laugh, the first sound of happiness the young man had expressed in the years since Euphemia's death. As the lavender haired man beheld him with his own inane smile, he rested his chin upon folded hands and sighed. It was good to see his pilot exuding the same power and enjoyment he had first shown upon entry to the Britannian ranks—that is, once his initial shyness had passed.

"She really has, Lloyd," the brunette murmured, slumping back against a counter and leaning his head to the ceiling. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Without her, I don't think I could have lasted much longer, to be honest. There's only so much ache that a heart can take."

"So tell me," continued the bemused scientist, "When's the wedding?"

A blush crossed under his subordinate's eyes as he stammered for a word or phrase to answer with, which only further pressed Lloyd into his fit of laughter.

_[chorus]  
May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep.  
When the world is closing in  
and you can't breathe.  
_

Struggling for an answer as his boss chuckled at him, the flustered nineteen-year-old bit his lip and passed his hand over his eyes and burning cheeks as if to cool them with its shadow. He opened and closed his mouth several times attempting to speak, and was interrupted at last by the ringing of his cell phone, echoing loudly from the confines of his pocket. Further embarrassed, he fished it out and mumbled a hello to the other line only to fall dead silent. The color drained absolutely from his face, his emerald eyes wide in terror. His pulse thundered so deafeningly in his ears that it seemed to fade and stop all together as the sleek white phone slipped from his grip and clattered to the laboratory floor.

"Suzaku?" called the faint voice from the other end, "Suzaku? She's dying, Suzaku…If you want to say goodbye…You'd better hurry."

He hardly heard it, his empty footfalls clamoring for a different reality as he ran from the room.

_Ellie…_

_May I love you,_

_May I be your shield.  
When no one can be found,  
may I lay you down_

"Ellie!" he cried desperately, panting as he darted into the singular white room he'd been told held his fiancée. Again, there was the eerie sensation of his heart stopping, his labored, burning breathing ceasing to take place as he grasped the vision of a bloody angel lying inert on a cold, railed bed. "Ellie…"

"Su…zaku…?"

His breath caught in his throat as he heard her speak his name in a subdued whisper that was not her voice. The sound was painful, bringing a sharp stab of hurt back to his lifeless heart as he moved with heavy, numb legs to her bedside. He flinched not when his knees met jarringly with the cold laminate, but as her shaking, fragile hand brushed against his, he fought the violent urge to recoil from the sheer reality of what he saw, what he felt.

"Ellie…wh-what happened…?" he choked out, craning himself over the hospital rails upon her bed so that he could rest his cheek upon her cold hand.

Her eyes, now a sickly grey, opened slowly and with difficulty as she looked pitifully down to him, her bruise-colored lips forming a nauseating excuse for her lovely smile.

"I'm," she paused, coughing erratically, "s-so sorry Suzaku," murmured the dying seraph before him. "I was c-coming to see you before you left a-and…," a muscle spasm wracked her body and he clasped her shoulders gently, holding her dear to him as he maneuvered around the machinery connected to her feeble frame.

A doctor, unnoticed by the heartbroken young man, shuffled forward from the wall, head bowed.

"There was a car accident, son," spoke the old man.

"I-I see," he whispered dumbly, as if he never heard the doctor. "Ellie?" he continued, "Can you still hear me?"

He was half-afraid of the answer.

She nodded weakly, resting her cold forehead against his bicep as she shivered in his arms. The shadowy circles under her eyes were of a sickeningly familiar shade and cause to him, and he fought back the wild tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

_Not again…_

"Goodbye Ellie," his heart spoke without his mind, "Thank you…for what you've done for me. You saved me, Ellie…You saved me from myself."

_Please don't leave me…_

"I'm…I'm glad, Suzaku."

Seeing her light fade, an anguished groan ripped from his throat as he cradled her in his arms. A soft, incomprehensible murmur sighed through her lips, and he bent his neck to hear her better. Her lips brushed against his ear as they formed the last words he'd ever hear in her lovely tone, and grew cold as the final word passed.

"I love you too," he whispered, sobbing it softly, "I love you too."

Gently, with the reverence with which one treated holy artifacts, he laid her down to the hospital bed and slumped forward, head hung as tears washed anew tracks across his cheeks.

She had made his heart break.

* * *

Ah, I apologize if the ending was a bit rushed/short, but I believe if I had drawn it out anymore, even I would have been in tears. _ Halfway through the story, even knowing the ending, I had started to believe that everything would turn out alright; writing the ending for me was only acceptable as I recalled the end of the series. Even so, despite the tragedy, I hope you all enjoyed reading it! Song credit to Trading Yesterday for their song _May I_, and credit to the creators of Code Geass for their characters. Once more, I own nothing but my original character and the plot line this little one shot followed.


End file.
